Are you guilty of going with the flow, when you really don’t want to? I’m reminded of a scene in the classic 1980′s movie, Coming to America. It’s the scene where Eddie Murphy is in an arranged marriage with Princess Froda. He asks her what is her favorite food and she says, “Whatever you like.” He asks her what she likes to do and she says the same, “Whatever you like.” Puzzled, he asks her if she will do anything he asks and she responds, “Yes.” The scene ends with her barking like a dog, hopping on one leg and squealing like an orangutan. If you can’t see the video, click here.
It’s funny, but isn’t that how some people are in relationships? They don’t want to rock the boat, so they just go along with whatever the other person says, even if it’s not what they truly want. They think that by being accommodating and docile, it will keep things running smoothly. However, the challenge with this line of reasoning is that it never holds true. Eventually, the truth will come out, your true feelings will erupt and you will be left in a web of confusion.
It’s inevitable that eventually, you won’t be able to repress the fact that you’re really not cool with an open relationship or being the other woman or being in a relationship where there is sex without commitment. You may not communicate your true feelings upfront, out of fear that it will ruin the fun or cause the other person to jump ship. But in fairness to the other person and yourself, you have to take steps to learn to be honest about your feelings. This is important, not only in being true to yourself, but also in setting some healthy expectations for the relationship.
For example, fellas – if you meet a girl who says from the beginning that she doesn’t want a relationship and that’s not what you want, say that and then weigh your options. Don’t just discard what you want in order to go with the flow, thinking that you think you can change her mind later. The reality is that by not being honest upfront, set yourself up for disappointment. So, don’t get mad seven years later when you still “just friends” and not married. They told you upfront. Likewise, ladies when you are dating someone and you perceive that they are demanding or jealous, don’t ignore these thoughts, thinking he will change over time You won’t and if the feelings aren’t reconciled, it could lead to a huge blow up in your relationship later on.
Going with the flow when you really don’t want to causes communication breakdowns, confusion and ultimately heartaches. While it seems easier to remain silent rather than communicate your true feelings, eventually you will have to deal with the consequences of not being honest about your feelings. So, be proactive and eliminate this kind of relationship drama by being honest about your feelings upfront.
I’d love to hear from you. Have you ever hid your true feelings? How did it impact your relationship? If you’ve enjoyed this article, please “like” my page on Facebook by clicking here; follow me on Twitter @thelovejourney7 or sign up below to receive email notifications.
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Photos Courtesy of: funnyordie.com and tampabay.com